Continuing the "Joys" of Turning 50.....

Now that I've kept you waiting longer than planned for the "rest of the story", here goes.........
From midnight the second day before, you are on a liquid diet. From noon to 3 pm the day before, you fast then you begin the REAL preparation. Don't let the mild-sounding name "NuLYTELY" fool you--this stuff is deadly! To begin with, you add 4 liters of warm water and a "flavor" packet. Next you drink 8 ounces every 15 minutes. After tasting the first 8 ounces, you literally gag down the rest of the jug over a 4 hour period. After finishing the "beverage of the evening", you wait one hour then take 4 Ducolax tablets.
No explanation necessary. WARNING: Don't make any plans. You will spend the next 12 hours camping in the bathroom. Word of advice: take a warm blanket and a nice, thick book along as you won't be sleeping.
Our ward's High Priests group leaders decided to visit Glen and I that evening. I'm not sure what their thoughts were as I repeatedly jumped up and ran from the room during their stay.
After camping out in the bathroom all night, we left at 6:45 am to head to Boise. Papers to fill out and then my name was called from beyond the door. Actually the procedure itself was a piece of cake. They started an IV and I vaguely remember bits and pieces of what went on. I remember the nurse telling me I could get dressed. I remember wondering, as I struggled to get my foot into the leg of my jeans, if this is what it is like to get dressed when one is intoxicated, and that is all I remember. Next thing I knew I was waiting with Glen for the doctor to come give us his report and then we headed home. I slept the day away.
So, to any of you approaching this golden age of 50, take heart--the procedure itself is a piece of cake. And to the rest of you--your day is coming so don't get to smug about it!